As an installation artist the word attachment takes on very visual connotations for me… buttons, Velcro, zippers, stitching, welding, glue, hooks, screws, nails, dovetails, latches, and more. Some are temporary. Some are permanent. Some are loose attachments. Some aren’t. What’s the difference? Why is a weld necessary in one place when tape is all that’s needed in another?
This week I am looking at attachments and moving houses. Moving from a house that had a temporary (think Velcro) attachment, where I lived with two gorgeous girls that I have developed strong attachments (like glue) with, to the house I will be in for the remainder of my internship (a sewn attachment) with a friend of several years, Sarah, who’s heart and mine have been two-part -poxyed together. I wonder what type of attachments I will have in, to, and with the new house, new housemates, neighbors. Will they be superglue, duck tape, or paperclip type of attachments?
It looked like I would also be moving into a studio space this week. This idea brought so many thoughts of attachment with it… How would my attachment to this space be the same or different than that in my studio at churchfreo 408? What kind of attachments would be appropriate with the people in that space? Chances are the friends I would make there would be artists as well. Relationships with other artists are necessary attachments, but what kind of attachment do I build with them? Are the also Christians, or not yet believers, and how does that change the attachment?
The original space that we thought I had found fell through. I was surprised by my disappointment. I had developed an attachment to that location because I thought it was the end of the studio search and in anticipation of the new relationships and their coinciding attachments that will come with the space. What should have been a post-it-note type of attachment I made into a machine-sewn attachment in my excitement. It hurt to have to tear that bond. Sort of like the attachment between your tongue and a frozen flagpole,
it’s not permanent at all but if not done carefully it can be painful. I did so with the support of Berenice and Luci (FUZE advisor and friend of mine), knowing that it wasn’t the right space for me at this time. Knowing that God has my studio, with my studio mates already planned, I’m moving forward looking for studios again. Trying to hold that attachment loosely for now.One of the items from home I brought to Australia was a porcelain figurine of a girl that had been my great grandmothers. I was given this figurine when I was 7, just after my great grandma had passed away. The poor thing has been through about a dozen moves and nearly every time her head falls off, generally along the same break and krazy-gluing it back on is no big deal.
Miraculously, she made it to Australia without any problems, however, moving 3 blocks down the street was tough on her and her head fell off again. As I was once again super-gluing her back together I thought of my family. Even though there is a super glue attachment there right now there is also a divide simply due to distance and a 13-hour time difference. The fact that Mother’s Day fell in this week is probably making this attachment and separation more apparent to me.As I look around me at my friends and peers I am made aware of attachments they have that I don’t. There are very mixed feelings on this for me… feeling of sadness, jealousy, and exclusion because of my lack of similar attachments, and yet joy and thankfulness for where I am, mixed with some regret of where I’ve been to get here. I know that’s all very vague and ambiguous. Suffice it to say, there are still attachments that I look forward to having some day.
(Weeks 1-8 are coming sooner or later)
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